I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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