What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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