i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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