just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize