Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
