how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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