do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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