her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize