I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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