can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
