Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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