I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize