and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Two words: blizzard sex
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
