Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize