Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
high people should be assigned attendants
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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