Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
