So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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