I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
