I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
