census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
