the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
