new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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