i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
