Got a toothbrush?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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