the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We're too hungover to prance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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