bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
