I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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