that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
