Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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