My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
