awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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