I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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