Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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