is your mom at the bar?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize