At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So much rum. So many feels.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
