Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm at about main and main street
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
