Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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