I CAN MOONWALK!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize