I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
