Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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