She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
