she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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