i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
