I will die if light touches me.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize