Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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