I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
