There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
