i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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