So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
