Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
