I think I am morally bankrupt
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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