I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
