He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
