Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
