Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
