If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
