there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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