Christians are straight up FREAKS
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize