Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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